Two months ago I found out I was pregnant. And what a shock that was!
I am so happy about the little person growing inside me, I really am. But I am not so happy about the man who is going to be a part of my life forever. Don’t get me wrong, he is a very nice, kind guy who is excited about being a father but I don’t love him. I’m never going to love him and I really don’t want to have to spend time with him, but I do – for the baby. I wish I didn’t find it so hard. I wish I could get rid of these feelings but I just don’t know how. I just want to focus on me and the little one. I don’t want to have him in my space, in my life & annoying me. I can’t work out what is pregnancy hormones and what isn’t. I can’t work out whether this is just resentment because the pregnancy wasn’t planned. I can’t work anything out but that he frustrates me & winds me up and I want him to leave me alone. Argh! I thought it’d be hardest getting my head round the fact that I’m having a child, but it’s not – it’s getting my head round the child’s father that’s hardest!